This morning I woke up with a million doubts and fears.

Would I ever lose anymore weight?

Would I ever be able to run faster and for longer?

I had gone to the gym for the first time after my three week vacation last night, and for lack of a better term, the gym kicked my butt. During a 35 minute stint on the treadmill, I only managed to run for a total of 10 minutes, broken up into two five minute sets with walking between. The runs felt awkward. My body felt stiff and hurt in places I wasn’t used to hurting. My breathing was off and I quickly felt my stomach cramp up.

Last month I was able to run for 30-40 minutes at a time with no walking breaks. I felt defeated. Mad at myself that I hadn’t tried harder to work out in India and overall like I had let all my progress go.

But after throwing a quick pity party today, I knew I had to go back to the gym and try again. I went in with a better attitude and vowed to just let me body do what felt right.

I warmed up with 10 minutes of walking, longer than I warmed up the night before, and at minute 10 turned the speed up to a comfortable pace for running.

And then I began to repeat in my head something I had once heard in yoga.

“Let your body sink into the pose.”

So that’s what I did. I let my body get comfortable with the running. The rhythm. I focused on my breathing. I tuned out the rest of the world. With each step I sunk deeper into my body, and by the time I looked down, 10 minutes had flown by.

I held the pace for another five minutes before taking a walking break, and then finished strong with another five minutes of running for a total of 20 minutes of running and 20 minutes of walking – a little over 2.5 miles.

And now? I feel good. I feel strong. I feel like there is hope. And I’m also drinking the most delicious post workout smoothie.

No more blues-berry smoothie

serves one. about 190 calories.

3/4 cup frozen blueberries

1 scoop designer whey chocolate protein (or protein powder of your choice)

1 cup water

Microwave half the blueberries for 20-40 seconds. Add the second half and rest of the ingredients and blend until smooth for a great frothy and satisfying post workout snack. Drink immediately.