It’s Tuesday! It’s July! It’s finally consistently hot out!
I’ve been having a blast the last couple weeks getting my drink (and food) on watching tons of World Cup action but am finally starting to CRAVE healthy food and exercise again! All the hydration!
I’m still kind of figuring out what HEALTHY actually means to me. It’s officially been a year since I was at my lowest weight, and last I looked at the scale…. yeah.. I don’t want to share. It’s my blog. Sorry.
So if HEALTHY isn’t my weight right now, what is it? Is it eating well M-F and hitting the sangria pitcher hard on the weekend? Probably not.
Here are the odds and ends that have been feeling “healthy” to me:
This was a food trend that I never really took to until NOW. Kabocha squash all the time. I’m not going to tell you all about its calorie count and vitamin stats, because I just don’t know it, but it’s delicious! Unlike other squash, you can eat the rind so there is little prep wok involved. I cut it open, stick it on a baking tray and am DONE. To me it’s also sweeter than a sweet potato (my favorite carb) and goes with everything. I’ve paired it with greens and eggs and even with some almond butter, inspired by Kiss My Broccoli. The other best part, it’s smaller than most squash, which is perfect for my cook-for-one lifestyle.
Not feeling guilty over not working out
In the last two weeks I quit one job, started another, and had my bestest of best friends in NJ, which is a rare occurrence now that she’s doing her thing down in NOLA. So… I skipped CrossFit in favor of sushi dinners and shopping one week and then skipped CrossFit again last week in favor of hustling at my new job. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel guilty about not working out. I do…but I know that guilt is NOT a useful feeling. It’s not motivating, it makes me feel bad about myself, blah blah blah. So, I’m working on RECOGNIZING the guilt (instead of just feeling it and being all waaaah) and separating myself from the emotion. This is how adulthood works, right? Go away guilt.
Because HEALTHY is so undefined to me right now, i’m working my best to remove the guilt from certain foods and behaviors, because all it does is trigger my binge eating and make me want to be a shut in. AND, it takes away from my happiness when things are genuinely fun. Food is not moral. Eating m&ms does not make me a bad person. BUT – I WANT to be living consciously. I know that sugar makes me feel like poop, so in conscious, dedicated living, I don’t eat sugar and I’m happier. There’s a point in there somewhere.
A lot of times I FEEL like I should be doing one thing (not eating m&ms) when I’m doing another (eating m&ms), and that is the definition of pain and then I feel guilty and then the whole cycle starts all over again. Eradicate my guilt, live happier, Keep it Simple, Silly
I WANT to be moving my booty every day
How many times have I written here that I am happiest and feel the best when I exercise in some form EVERY DAY.
So…. I quit CrossFit. Basically, I’m at a job that I chose because it makes me happy, not because it makes me rich, and I can’t justify the expense when I’m barely even going three times a week. I’ve been floundering for a while with consistent exercise and I think I’m going to keep it simple (see above) and just head back to Retro Fitness. It works for me because I can walk to it and it’s open early and late and is cheap.
Listen, I don’t need to justify my choice of fitness center to anyone.
I’m a big believer that there is no ONE way to be healthy (hello, that’s the main point of this post), so if you’re not going to the box, or gym, or fitness class that everyone else is going to, it really doesn’t matter. There are a million ways to get your sweat on, and an air conditioned room where a movie is playing on a giant screen (yay Retro movie room!) seems more attractive to me than a CrossFit box right now.
Plus, gym selfies.
Exploring the Great American Landscape
Ha, I wish! But I am going to Baltimore this weekend to celebrate the nation’s birthday and heading to Maine to eat some lobstah at the end of July.
I LOVE travel but I also happen to get very STRESSED by it because I LOVE my routine (well, I do now. yay new job!). I’ve yet to find away to embrace eating well and exercising on vacation, but I’m not giving up trying!
Note to self: Ice cream is not “special” because you’re not in New Jersey. You won’t regret not eating all the ice cream when you travel but you will regret major sugar/mood crashes.
I’m not really sure what this post is about anymore
But I’m having a great time writing it and certainly THAT is HEALTHY! I’m embracing my every desire to write words in all caps and pouring out every little thought that crosses my brain.
I’ve also now been writing this post over THREE hours because I had TWO great phone calls with my favorite ladies in Baltimore and NOLA. LDR friendships are hard but so, so, so worth the effort.
I hope this is the beginning of me again writing more spur of the moment posts that are more about life and less about free stuff I received from Influenster.
I think a lot of the guilt and stress and such really relate to the emotional roller coasters of losing weight and it feels so good to share and get it off my chest.
This week for my job I got to interview Elizabeth Gilbert, one of my all time favorite authors, and she talked all about how shame lives in the shadows and can’t exist when you bring it out into the light.
It’s something I never felt good about doing, but the more I talk about how I’m eating m&ms instead of working out (or something) the more I’m able to release myself from the GUILT that I feel. Things are just things. They are not good or bad, but I’m happiest when I’m dedicated to living my best life (SUP OPRAH) and sometimes that means sacrifices and courage and punching fear and guilt in the face. Hello new motto. Anyway, in random conclusion, that’s where my relationship is right now with HEALTHY.